Today I had lunch with my grandmaman and she really opened my eyes about a few things.
One of which was the question I have been asking myself since mid-way through August… why, when the first time I followed Dukan I did not cheat a single bite, not a single time, through the hardest times of my life (up to that point). I followed the diet strictly and was so successful… well why after all that is getting back on the wagon so difficult! So, incredibly hard.
This is something you guys have talked to me about in abundance. Getting back on the wagon seems so impossible, when you did SO WELL the first time. Why is that?
Well, my grandmaman, wise beyond her years has cleared up this mystery (for myself at least) with a story.
I am not sure if you know about Curves, but my grandmaman works out there and is fast approaching 1000 workouts. Yep, 1000. Blows my mind.
Anyways, the other day a lady pointed out to my grandmaman that her form wasn’t all that perfect, she had started crossing her legs when doing a certain machine and yes, had picked up a bad habit by slacking a little.
Over time her good habit slipped a little, she allowed herself to cross her legs and there you go.
She worded it way better but you see… it’s totally true when it comes to my dieting. Over time (I have been on (and off and on…) Dukan for almost a year and a half now and I have picked up bad habits and let some of my strict-ness slip along the way.
I mean, I remember when I first followed Dukan I would never even have a bite of anything not allowed. I would say no to dressings and sauces on my meat for instance. I would be INCREDIBLY picky in restaurants asking the waiter a billion times ‘No butter, no sauce, nothing right? Are you sure? Please make 100% sure, thanks.’
Well this is something that has slipped! I would rather just not go out than put myself out like that… but of course going out is inevitable so what do I do? Cheat!
I saw my good habits slipping by the end of my first round of Dukan, which is why the last 20lbs came off so slowly.
I would overindulge in yogurt, amongst other things that are specified in his book as limited. I would justify, gain weight, get upset… but I have always had noone to blame but myself. It’s hard to realise and come to terms with. I sabotage myself and that’s a habit I need to drop, right now.
Well enough is enough. No more half-assed starts. No more back of my mind doubts or ‘Well if this situation rises… then I’ll cheat’. Hey what am I? Weak?
No more coming down on myself for my mistakes. No more letting food, and especially bad, unhealthy, processed food… control my life. Am I right?
A few things I am doing differently THIS time around, not putting too much focus on working out, especially not as hard as I was going. But I will be scheduling myself in for a 2 hour full body weight training session one day a week with no excuses. Just one day a week to start.
I will continue to drink my water, since I have been doing so well at this and I will cut out dairy (since as we all know, little Ms over here is an incredibly all in or all out person…)
I will continue to eat my galette in the morning, and I will be as strict as I was the first time. This is the first time!
Also, at my grandmamans suggestion (another genius one) I will be thinking ONE DAY AT A TIME. I know many of you have told me to do this and this time… I’m going to make a serious effort.
No more long-term ‘I will not cheat until Christmas’ or ‘I will not cheat for 21 days to make a habit!’
Not even ‘I will not cheat for an entire week!’
Just, I will do well today, I will not cheat today, I will not eat after dinner today, I will not give into my cravings today or sabotage myself, I will not manipulate others to get me to cheat or help me eat badly. I will plan my meal for today, stick to it, drink my water today and be good TODAY.
Then do the same exact thing tomorrow.
I will also only weigh myself on Mondays as per my Challenge. No more weighing myself every day and letting the scale determine my mood. If I am eating well I don’t need to double check on the scale to make sure things are dropping smoothly… I know the Dukan Diet totally 100% works (for meeeee) and I know it will work as long as I ACTUALLY DO IT, with no little slips, with just an iron will! It works, I don’t need the scale to tell me that… until Monday. ;)
Seriously… I can feel the eye rolling from over here. Didn’t I say this yesterday? I believe I have been writing up similar posts once or twice a week since mid-August with the promise that THIS TIME I will do it.
I have even gotten into the habit of writing similar paragraphs as the one preceding this one… haven’t I?
Well… THIS TIME! Oh Gawed… I’m doing it again…
I believe in myself and to be honest… you guys… I need to get back on track. I will do it. If you never take that first step, if I never post the ‘THIS TIME I PROMISE YOU GUYS’ then I will never actually stick with it and be successful… how many times did I say ‘THIS TIME’ while dieting at 270lbs… and then finally, I said ‘THIS TIME’ and everyone rolled their eyes and I lost 115lbs in 8 months…
So screw what you think. ;) THIS TIME I WILL DO IT, I PROMISE! I HAVE TO!
Wish me willpower, not that you have to!