Before and After Photo, To Compensate For My Lack Of Posting ;)

I’m sorry about my recent absence. This house sitting thing is really taking it’s toll on me, I am still working my 9-5 job, working out 2 hours a day, and now commuting a solid 40 minutes each way back and forth from this house, that’s 40 extra minutes a day, and then walking the dogs twice a day…

Needless to say I’m exhausted. Happy, but really too tired to blog.

I have been successful with the dieting though, and really trying to push myself at the gym. So all is going well. I can see definition in my legs, my arms, everything. I am really so proud and happy and can’t wait for more!

Although, my joints hurt a lot… My wrists are really swollen today and sore, my knees and ankles aren’t doing too hot either… Hmmm…

Have a good day you guys! I hope to be back to normal with the blogging so soon. :)



Progress Pics!

Not a lot to say today, 2 months of training with my coach coming up as of tomorrow, thought I would show you a couple progress pictures over the past couple months.

More progress to be had! I want more muscleeeee. :)

Make good choices today!


New Personal Record at the Gym & Never Give Up… Ever!

Saturday will mark 2 months of training with my coach. I feel like, physically, it doesn’t feel like I have changed all that much considering 2 months is well, a really long time to be weight training 4-6 days a week… 2 hours a day.

Then again, I can’t blame anyone but myself. Since starting with my coach I have been cheating consistently on my diet, disappointingly enough.

Oh yes, I did cheat a few days ago, even though I said I wouldn’t for 19 days. Well. Shit happens. Ahhhh. Why did I do it? Well the stressful transition from my aunts to the second house we were house sitting for was almost complete, I was bored and exhausted stuck at home all day watching TV. So, yep, I cheated.

Why does cheating on my diet mean that I can’t really see the results the gym has given me? Well I have gained muscle, it’s very obvious, but it’s hidden behind all my fat and loose skin… It’s there, just in hiding.

Just going to move on, as always. One of these days I will make the commitment to myself to stop with the cheating and I will. Back on it as of yesterday fully. Have not cheated today, and WILL NOT. I promise to you guys, and I also promise that if I do cheat (not likely) I will always fess up. There is no point in lying to you or to myself and you know what, I’m human. You need to know that you are human too, if you do the same thing as I do.

It seems almost impossible for me not to cheat, and once I take a bite of anything bad I cannot stop myself from just shovelling it in. So yes, I know this means I should never take that first bite, but you know how it is.

It really doesn’t help that I have not been getting enough sleep all week. That just makes the cravings worse. It really does.

Once I figure out the secret to being completely successful, without any cheating ever or cravings, moments of weakness… you will be the first to know. But for now, I just need to make mistakes, and then get back on track. As long as I keep getting back on track and don’t let my disappointment in myself break me or discourage me from my dreams, eventually I will figure it out.

Until then, well… I guess this will keep happening. But I’m telling you THIS TIME… no cheating. ;)

Aha, oh well. I’m happy. J

Super cool news in terms of my fitness: there is this workout called a single-dumbbell row:

2 months ago when I started my program I was lifting 25lbs on this particular exercise. The cool news is that I set a personal record last night! I haven’t been able to stop smiling since!

70lbs! 70lbs for one set of 6 reps!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeek! I’m so proud of myself!!!

I can’t stop smiling! Only 30 more pounds and I will be lifting 100lbs! Can you imagine!?!?!

I feel like a total beast. I have been walking around with my head high all day, just strutting. I feel amazing.

No other news to report… well other than my lack of sleep is making my workouts INCREDIBLY difficult. You have no idea, my muscles are getting fatigued really easily and they are not having enough time to fully heal overnight, I am incredibly sore all over.

Drink loads of water, make good choices with me today! Gotta keep strong! J

If you fell off the bandwagon… well get back on goof! As long as you keep getting back on you have NOT FAILED!

I’ll see you all tomorrow.



In this post I will address one of the forms of sabotage I have experienced along the way, throughout this entire journey. We will take a look at sabotage from your partner, which is a big issue. I hope to make another post relatively soon on the other forms of sabotage like sabotage by the conscious and unconscious self as well as sabotage by friend or fat-friend. But for now, let’s focus.

Now you might be sitting here, thinking, woah woah there Constance… not MY huzzband, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, lover! Never in my life! They are super supportive, amazing, loving and would NEVER EVER sabotage me.

Well that’s nice. I’m happy to hear that. I am not saying your significant other will, has, or is sabotaging you. I am sharing my experience with the topic and letting you know that it DOES happen. In fact, the majority of women I have talked to have told me that yes, their partner has tried to sabotage their weight loss attempts in the past!

But why? And how?

While following Dukan I was not sabotaged by Prawn, but in my past weight loss attempts, yes, he has tried, sneakily, and (as he puts it) subconsciously to sabotage me.

Prawn has admitted to this, why did he do it? Because he was self-conscious about himself. He wasn’t happy with the way he looked. He thought that if I lost weight I would look WAY TOO HOT and would leave him for someone better, that my weight and looks were the only thing keeping me with him and if I lost the weight and got confident I would be out in a jiffy.

Now this is all not true, and we have discussed it. This was just his subconscious thought process at the time.

So what can you do if your partner is sabotaging you, consciously or not?



I am going to have a ton of angry husbands e-mailing me ‘WHAT DID YOU SAY TO MY WIFE!!!’
I was kiiiiidding!!! ;3

So, seriously, what can you do?

Well you can start off by communicating to him or her that you need their support with this. Explain to them WHY you want to lose weight, why you want to be healthier, or in better shape. Tell them why it’s important to you, and then explain to them what their support will do for you.

So the conversation can go:

‘I need to lose weight because I feel a lot of pain in my knees lately and I think it’s because of my weight gain. I am not happy with how I look, I don’t feel sexy. I really need you to support me on this diet, or with this lifestyle change, because it works if you follow it and I know sometimes my willpower will get weak and you can set me straight.’


‘I need to get fit because I feel flabby and gross. I am not comfortable in my skin. I need you to support me with going to the gym every day this week because I find it hard to motivate myself and if you aren’t backing me up on this I will have an even harder time.’

You should also let your partner know ways in which he or she can support you, since the term is kindof loose. These are ways I have asked Prawn to support me:

  • If I say I am not going to the gym tell me that I will feel much better if I actually go, if I feel like I don’t have time to go, help me make time or plan our schedules around it.
  • ‘Force’ me to go to the gym. Make comments that make me feel guilty for not going, try to help me realise I made a commitment to myself to be consistent with my gym attendance. Turn the car around and drive me to the gym if necessary.
  • When he sees I am about to cheat, I have given him permission to tell me something about my weight. I know this seems weird but feeling ‘judged’ by someone usually helps me put something down.
  • On the other hand, if after he makes a comment I still don’t want to stop, he has to stop pushing because sometimes I just wanna cheat and stubborn as I am, there is nothing he can do to stop me at that point and if he continues he will just hurt my feelings.
  • He understands that my meal prep takes a while and to respect the food I have prepped and set aside for myself for the next day.

Now know that there is a difference between supporting someone and doing all the work for them. I don’t expect Prawn to know what I am allowed and not allowed in my diet. I haven’t sat him down and told him ‘so I am allowed 6oz of basa at 11:30am, etc etc) It’s my diet, he isn’t following it. So if I cheat and he doesn’t even know it’s cheating, well he can’t be blamed.

I would never blame Prawn for my cheating because he didn’t stop me. It’s my choice, always. Supporting someone means if you can, help them make a good decision. Sabotaging someone is enticing them to cheat, seeing that they are cheating and not saying anything, encouraging someone to not go to the gym, making them feel guilty for their new lifestyle choice, etc.

If your partner is consistently sabotaging you, even once you have asked for their support… well that’s not cool. Ask them why they are getting in the way of your goals. Explain to them that you have told them why it’s important for you to be healthier and that it hurts your feelings for them to be actively standing in the way, or making it hard on you to stick to it.

If, like Prawn, the problem is their lack of self confidence, that they don’t want you to get hot and leave them, well let them know how dumb they sound! ;) You chose them, love them, and would never leave them because you are finally happy with yourself. I mean, loving yourself will make everything better for THEM there is no reason why they shouldn’t support you.

Maybe they can lose the weight with you? Make it into a competition?

Let them know that confidence in yourself will resonate in the bedroom, they will love that one!

Just know that you are doing this for yourself. That you need to, want to, and don’t need someone else’s approval or support to go through with it and be successful. It’s all you baby! Keep that willpower strong and hopefully your partner will smarten up, see how sexy you are getting, and change his or her life around as well!

(Oh and feel super-duper sorry for sabotaging you in the first place. I think a foot massage is in order!)

Have a good one, make good choices!

Oh and to the surge of readers from Pinterest… welcome! How are you? Go drink some water!


Make That 10 Pounds Since Monday!

Day 3/19 with NO cheating.

Woohoo! I’m really doing it!

The other night I was watching a movie and wanted a snack. I had one meal left, my casein protein shake. I made it and then thought to myself, well I can eat two rice cakes and some cottage cheese with cinnamon on it! (Because I actually could) I prepared it and sat down and thought… well I’m not actually hungry right now… Maybe later. Never touched the stuff!

I am so proud! I just, didn’t need it. I wasn’t hungry!

I have had an incredibly busy few days… and a few more to come. We are making the transition from house sitting for my aunt and the kittens to house sitting for a friend of the family and the dogs. I am so blessed to be surrounded by cute pets this month!

To make things more hectic though, not only do these house sittings overlap by a couple days, but the houses are 40 minutes apart and I have parties, plans, hangouts, workouts, all planned starting yesterday through Sunday.

Oh, and we only have the one car. Thank goodness I don’t work weekends and Prawn only works as of 5pm tomorrow… it’s still going to be an incredibly tight schedule squeeze.

Do you know what I did though? I planned for all this, I PLANNED (My mother is reading this like… who is this woman typing for my daughter… this can’t possibly be Constance LOL) all my meals for yesterday as well as today, I made them all in advance, measured, cooked, Tupperwared, planned, wrote down, ALL my meals (10 meals total) since I knew I wouldn’t have time to do it and didn’t want to sacrifice all the good work I have been doing and risk cheating!

Look at me go! Rocking it! J

PLAN ahead! Don’t leave anything to chance! You are way more likely to cheat if you are scrambling for dinner last minute out and about, hungry, tired and stressed, right?

Well, that’s all for today. Good weigh in, worked out chest and biceps with my gorgeous babysis last night, tonight is triceps and back.

I feel amazing, it feels so much better to be back on track, fully, just in the right place mentally. Way better than my random-cheat-mode.

Hope everything is going well with you guys! Been busy, haven’t been able to read comments or comment on anyones blog posts! Promise after this transition I’ll be back on my game.

MAKE GOOD CHOICES! Seriously, it feels SO GOOD! J


I Have Lost 7.3lbs Since Monday Morning!

As per request: this is Titan at 4 weeks, my cute-as-a-button kitten! My very first pet on my own. :)

Days Without Cheating: 1/19

Baby steps. ;)

So, I am doing something a little different to ‘guarantee’ that I don’t cheat for the next 19 days. It’s a short-term goal of mine. I was invited to a party on August 5th and I know there is a pool… I want to look my absolute best for the pool party and how will I know I am looking the absolute best I could possibly look? By making sure to put 100% into both my workouts and my diet.

That means no cheating, following my coach’s plan and working hard!

That is the only way I can make sure I look the absolute best I could possibly look for August 5th right? Well, I’m doing it.

Weigh In This Morning: 159.1lbs.

That is a 7.3lbs drop since Monday morning… woah! All that by not cheating, eating 5 full meals a day, hitting the gym (and doing my super-intense program)… I can’t believe it. Crazy! I didn’t even lose that much weight in Attack and I am actually eating carbs now!

Sample Diet

Now I have only been on this ‘new diet’ since Sunday, and Sunday night I had a late night-not-allowed snack-binge and I had light not-allowed snack Monday night…

So really, I only did this diet fully 100% correctly yesterday.

I’m not saying follow this diet and you will lose 7.3lbs in a couple days, I did 2 hours of weight training Sunday, Monday and Tuesday night (2 hours each night). Also, I have been cheating for almost a straight month now on and off and gained over 10lbs in a few weeks.

I’m assuming the reason the weight is melting off is because it’s fat I just recently got from my cheating month…

Still, here is what I am eating today, my meal plan. For those of you who are curious. ;) I do not eat the same thing every day, this is just what I am choosing to eat today:

Meal #1 8:30am

Protein pancake (1 scoop protein powder, 1 scoop greens, 1 scoop glutamine, 1 big spoonful of cinnamon, ¼ cup oat bran, one whole banana, liquid egg whites to desired consistency)

Meal #2 11:30am

6 oz basa fish with cayenne pepper, 3 oz long grain brown rice (cooked), 65g spinach (raw)

Meal #3 2:45pm

6oz chicken breast with cayenne pepper, 3 oz couscous, 1 cup of zucchini, jalapeno pepper, onion, green pepper medley

Meal #4 5:30pm

6oz chicken thigh, 3 rice cakes (plain, original), 5 oz ff cottage cheese

Meal #5 8:30pm

Casein Powder shake


Now I am not eating any snacks at all. I find I am generally not hungry but if I do feel a little something I drink coffee and just ignore it. If I am hungry at 8:30pm and the casein shake isn’t doing it for me (don’t worry… a post about my supplementation is underway, I promise) I might add 3 oz of long grain brown rice and 1 cup of vegetable medley tonight.

Last night the before bed shake wasn’t enough food (I was hungry after my workout) so I added a banana since it was too late for coffee.


And that’s all! If you have a question about my new diet (I see it very much as a modified Consolidation Phase just… with weighed food) ask away!

As always, I’ll keep you updated, how about you guys? How are you doing with this whole… getting healthy and sexy thing?

Make good choices today!


Embarrassing Weigh In & A Lesson for All of You!

So, I was embarrassed to tell you but yesterday morning I weighed myself for the first time in… well a while, since halfway through this ‘random-cheat’ month.

Well… as of yesterday morning, NO MORE. Why? Because my scale scared the crap out of me… that’s why.

Here are some facts before I share with you my disappointing weigh in:

My Heaviest: 264.8lbs (Woah Nelly!)
Dukan Goal Weight: 155lbs (Achieved Feb 6th 2012)
Lowest Weight: 152lbs

Current Goal Weight: 120-130lbs

Yesterday Morning Weigh In: 166.4lbs

I gained over 10lbs in about 2 weeks.


So… that was the kick in the pants I needed. I haven’t seen my weight up that high since… January maybe? Absolutely unacceptable.

So yesterday I followed my coach’s meal plan. Did my workout and had a lot of fun doing it, actually.

Todays Weigh In: 162.9lbs

Ok then… a huge 3.5 pound drop, just by not cheating? I’ll take it. Back on track, once again.

Well, I am also here to teach you guys a lesson today… even if you think you workout in a good neighbourhood… don’t think you workout in a good neighbourhood.

I never locked my gym locker. Ever. I figured, I know everybody at my gym anyways. I brought my keys, wallet, cash, just anything to the gym, never locked it. Sometimes I left my iPhone there as well. Just in my locker. I trusted people.

Yesterday is the first time EVER in my months of hitting the gym that I didn’t bring my special bag with all my stuff in it to the gym. All I brought was my protein powder, my book and my deodorant.

Now this book was the one I was telling you about yesterday, the AMAZING book where I wrote down all my short and long term goals, my measurements, my diet, my personal information including address, e-mail address, website, phone number, etc. Oh and my full name.

It had my meals for the next week planned out onto it, it had my weight, etc.

You see where this is going don’t you.

Well this was the first time (since I started working out at the Y oh… about 3-4 months ago?) that I didn’t bring my debit, Y membership card, and drivers licence to the gym. Just a Wal-Mart bag full of nothing valuable… well except for this 10$ book I had splurged on, that I had spend hours and hours working on and was SO EXCITED to be tracking things and tracking things seriously and consistently in…

Well, someone stole it.

I haven’t cried that hard in a LONG LONG time. After searching through every locker in the men’s, women’s, AND children’s change room, as well as every single garbage bin in the YMCA with 2 employees… I can safely say someone stole it.

I should be thankful, sure, they took my stuff and taught me a tough lesson when I actually had nothing of monetary value in my bag… but still… I worked so damn hard on that book! I cried so so much yesterday.

Prawn came to pick me up, he wasn’t even done his workout at the other gym in town, he came to get me and drove me home and I couldn’t stop just sobbing, so upset.

I just kept thinking… this is the wall. This is the wall I hit that gets me to quit bodybuilding.

That’s the kind of person I am. I hit a wall and it’s over. It’s always been that way for me. I will be doing so well but then any adversity and I’m finished. I give up.

Well I thought to myself, and said out loud to Prawn… It’s over. I’m done. Now I can’t track my food for my coach, I just want to cheat, get it over with. I never want to go back to the gym.

Oh also, what if the person is crazy and stalks me now?
But that was only a side-thought.

Well Prawn turned right around (once we got home of course) and drove me to Wal-Mart to get another one of the books. Of course we got there, parked, and realised neither of us had brought our money.

So we drove home and I started crying again. I kept saying it wasn’t meant to be, this is God showing me not to bother, it’s over, my dream is over.

So Prawn told me not to move, ran in, came out with his money and drove us ALL THE WAY BACK to Wal-Mart. We bought a book and some colourful pens to make it more fun to have to restart writing in the book… all that information and time I spent.

Also bought some deodorant since that jerk who stole my stuff couldn’t even leave me my only stick.

Then went home. It was so hard for me to open it and start over from memory, but I did it. I’m still not finished and it doesn’t look like it did before, but I’m doing it. I’m back on it, tracking, weighing my food, doing well.

Lesson learned, we also bought a lock for my locker at the gym.


Anyways, will let you know how my weigh in goes tomorrow. I’ve been spending so much time in the kitchen! My meals are crazy right now with the diet, I still feel totally bad-ass weighing my food though. I feel like a professional!

& No, I have not given up. I guess everything was going so right in my life for a bit there, I just had to get thrown a curveball… and I stuck with my goals, my dreams!

Tonight after work I’m doing legs and shoulders, then home for more meal prepping. I’ll also write up some nice posts about my new program for you guys and show you a never before seen view of my fridge! Oooh, aaaaaah! ;)