Last night I had a movie moment, but first I wanted to thank you guys for keeping me accountable and for all the kind words, comments, advice on yesterdays posts. They put a smile on my face and set the standard for my days happiness. I am feeling much better and happier today.
I didn’t cheat last night and dropped weight (isn’t that the BEST feeling?). I was really proud of myself, Prawn bought me a bag of Chocolate Caramels and I didn’t even touch it! Well actually, I threw them out, and then he made a fuss so I put them in the BAAAACK of the pantry and told him if they were to get eaten, that he would have to do it.
Well there you go. Growin’ a backbone. Not going to let anyone sabotage me or my efforts! Feels empowering. That feeling followed me through a really heavy shoulder workout, and through not cheating at all during the night. I didn’t even drink!
So I went to pub night, I had decided I would cheat, since I have gone to over a years worth of pub nights and always the same thing… I sit there drinking endless diet pop while watching my friends eat my favourite foods in the universe… pub food is SO GOOD & once a month I suffer through the smells, the cheese, the warmth.
But my friends are used to me not joining them. It’s not weird, they don’t even ask anymore if I’m going to split the nachos with them. It’s understood that I just drink pop and generally one of my friends covers my drink for me. Total sweethearts. The Ottawa U Celtic Club is filled with the nicest people out there, I am sure of it.
Which is another reason I actually am glad I went out last night. I wasn’t going to, but Prawn had his busty friend over… & I couldn’t handle it I was so mad.
Anyways, so I went to pub night, whined a bit to my friends about my life, about guy problems (men problems, as I will now start calling them, thanks you guys! ;) )
I got a lot of positive feedback about how I shouldn’t change myself and dumb myself down for a guy, how I shouldn’t stop being my opinionated and upfront self and how when the right man comes along, he will come along and love all those things about me. I don’t need to trap a guy by playing damsel in distress.
All which made me smile but just confused me. I have been getting conflicting messages on the subject of why I can’t find a man. I don’t really know what to think. But you guys are right, as is my sister, I just need a break I think. Focus on myself, on not cheating, on making good choices I am proud of.
Movie moment time?
Movie moment time.
I left the pub before pub night was over, I had an hour to get home with bussing and driving to my apartment (instead of the hour and a half it would normally take me… am I ever glad I moved!) so I left after some people but before a big chunk of the core group left.
I checked my phone as I was leaving, I’m going to put this a little more dramatically for the stories purpose… so enjoy:
I lit my cigarette, ran across the street since the hand was still up and started walking towards the bus stop, casually, since it was a gorgeous night outside. My hands were a little cold but the air smelt like autumn so I was going to soak the night in.
Still smiling from the great night I had had, but lids feeling a little heavy with sleep I checked my cellphone. He texted me to wait, I turned around to see him cross the street towards me.
A tall, good looking man then grabbed me by the waist and pulled me in for a kiss.
That’s enough with the romanticism. Basically he told me I was hot, and he had been drinking. He told me not to care about what Prawn said or ever says and that I was hot.
He also told me he liked me but didn’t like me like he wanted to marry me… aaaaand movie moment over. But that’s okay lol. He still made me feel amazing.
I was confused at the time, after some thought I can tell you that I feel amazing and really hot right now and I need to lose a good 40-something pounds and get back to being super-sexy-confident so sober guys can run out of pubs and make out with me on the street for what felt like 20 minutes but was more realistically around 10-15 minutes…
Because that is a great feeling, and I want it to happen more often.