Day 6

Hello Constance, welcome to day 6 of dieting!

As if as of tomorrow it’ll be almost a week back on… I want to weigh myself! I honestly woke up, bee-lined for the scale this morning and then drank a giant glass of water to prevent myself from weighing myself.

This is bad. I feel like a heroin addict must feel! Or someone who deletes their Facebook!

I keep thinking, well I GOTSTA weigh myself tomorrow! It’ll have been a week back on!

NO! CONSTANCE BE STRONG!

Would you believe I am struggling more with the idea that I have no idea how much weigh I’ve lost than with my eating, cheating, and overeating? LMAO. Last night I visited a friend and we made arts and crafts with Popsicle sticks and talked. Would you believe it was so nice? Drinking tea, just hanging out.

It’s weird… when I think of being with my family, I generally associate them with food. Birthdays, Holidays… food.

All of my other friends I also associate with food. Well food or alcohol, and there is almost always food around when I hangout with… well anyone!

This friend is totally different. We watch movies, go on bike rides, 4-wheeling, arts and crafts, on Saturday we are going shopping, and I never feel compelled to cheat around him, and we rarely if ever do anything food-related. Just tea.

It’s a nice change. I ADORE my friends to TEARS but what are pub nights, even ceilis have the food served at the end (ceilis are big Irish dancing things I go to once a month), drinking with friends, if it’s at a bar there are generally nachos served, hanging out at friends houses with chips and booze…

I have no problem avoiding eating these things, it’s just kindof refreshing not having to think about it at all. Even work… we are having a Christmas party on the 6th and it’s at a really nice restaurant and I’ve been stressing about it a little…

Actually you know what, he isn’t my only friend where my interactions don’t revolve around food. I do have a few… I can only think of one right now but anyways…

So, I sat Prawn down when I decided I was starting the Dukan Diet for good this time (last Friday) and (I’m not sure if I told you guys this actually…) he asked me if we could be partners again. Dieting partners.

So I told him that although I didn’t want us to rely on each other for our dieting, I would love to do the Dukan Diet with him. We talked about how unhappy we are with our weight gain, how confident we felt when we were thinner.

We talked about how we both hate how our clothes feel tighter, and he explained to me that he wasn’t happy I said I didn’t want to diet with him.

Which started a bit of an argument… since all I said was I didn’t want us to be dependant on each other, that way neither of us could sabotage the others efforts. In the end he told me he understood what I was trying to say and that once again, he would love to diet with me, lose weight together, and be happy again.

Well I am glad I decided to diet on my own you guys. -.- I am REALLY disappointed to be honest but Prawn hasn’t had a day without cheating once. In fact, he went to his parents and pigged out and brought home baegals (oh wait… I totally have told you guys this already… I just remembered I wasn’t entirely sure how to spell baegals but I posted anyways. XD) I do have new information though.

Last night I came home to nachos having been made and 3 bags of chips. He had friends over and I guess they ate at the apartment… The half empty (mostly empty) bags are still on the kitchen table. I’m having a hard time moving them and I told Prawn to deal with it. I hope when I go home on my lunch that they are gone.

Still baegals in the fridge, and margarine… and I totally want to eat them but I wont.

It’s just disappointing. I thought we were going to do this together. The other day after he cheated I asked if he felt good having cheated, and if it was worthit.

He was obviously embarrassed and after avoiding the conversation for a bit informed me that ‘he had made good decisions all day’…

I said, yeah but that doesn’t make it okay to overeat later and stray from the diet. All of a sudden you have broken your day of eating right all day… right?

He said, ‘no I made good decisions all day, including the baegal.’

So I don’t understand. When you know something works if you don’t stray and cheat, and you know the results you COULD be having if you don’t eat that baegal… why do we eat the baegal, and then justify it as ‘not that bad of a decision’ or GAWED forbid… a good one?

xoxo

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5 thoughts on “Day 6

  1. I think people do things like choose to eat the “bad” food because we think we should be able to. Other people can. Why can’t I? And that is why I too suck at dieting. I do much better when I tell myself nothing is off limits, I can eat whatever the hell I want, but 95% of the time I CHOOSE not to eat something bad for me. That frame of mind works much better for my personality than telling myself I can’t have the bad foods! It goes along with how everyone is different and that’s why different diets, techniques, etc. work for different people!

  2. Constance, good for you for making REAL good eating decisions! Prawn doesn’t seem to be in the same frame of mind as you are – at least yet. Nachos and chips and leaving the damage all over??? Excellent work to get him to clean them up (hopefully he will), and for your restraint with them and the bagels! Once upon a time when I did Weight Watchers, the leader said – “you don’t need to eat that. You already know what it tastes like” (I’ve never forgotten those words). And you do. And you know it’s not something you can do right now. As so many people say over and over again, you need to diet for yourself. You are doing that, and if Prawn wants to go along with it, that’s fine too. Smart girl!

  3. I totally understand the “justify” part. I have been on a “Jelato” diet lately. I justify having the Jelato because it is sugar-free and it is complementary. But it’s not calorie free and my fat cells know it!

  4. I also understand the need to justify, the need to say, “No, I made great decisions all day.” I think most people cannot handle removing everything they “love” from their diet. All they can think about is what they are missing,so they have the need to eat it and they justify it by saying, “Well look at all these other good choices I made.” It’s a crazy thing isn’t it?

  5. I promised you I would read your blog. Wanted to see how you were doing, so i broke that promise haha. Happy for you Constance! Keep doing what you’re doing, it seems to be making you very happy! :)

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